


Workshop

by Crockzilla



Series: Domesti-Kink with Spideypool [27]
Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, Friendship, Humor, M/M, Mentions of kink, no actual kink, well kind of at the end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-18
Updated: 2018-01-18
Packaged: 2019-03-06 11:10:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13410009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crockzilla/pseuds/Crockzilla
Summary: At the request of his fellow Avengers, Wade holds a Kinky Workshop for Hesitant Heroes. It goes about as well as can be expected.





	Workshop

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Parrannnah](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Parrannnah/gifts).



> Lots of talk of kink but no actual kink, just silly fun with a sprinkle of feels and a dash of Wade and Peter being naughty with each other (of course).
> 
> This will make more sense if you've read "Play Date" and "Dad!Friends" in this series and also notlucy and my Way Up North Where the Air Gets Cold, but you can totes enjoy it without all that pre-reading. Basically, Peter/Wade and Bucky/Peggy/Steve and Tony/Pepper all hang out and are kinky within their own relationships and sometimes Peter, Bucky, and Tony are Little together. And sometimes Nat and Clint are there.
> 
> I don't know very much about Kate Bishop or America Chavez but I think I ship them. So hard.

Wade sidled over to Cap as the last of the refugees disembarked the plane. “Well – that was a sticky situation that we solved with aplomb.”

“Only because I listened to you about blowing things up,” Cap grinned.

Wade shrugged, smugly. “Everyone should listen to me about blowing things up.”

The two of them executed a relatively elaborate gesture that started with an exploding fist-bump and ended with their embracing each other at the elbows and exclaiming, “Dad-Friends!”

They noticed too late that Sam, America, and Kate were standing close by, watching their ritual with bemused expressions.

“So anyway, how about those Normal Conversation Topics?” Wade asked, but it was too late.

*~*~*

Bucky started sliding down the steep embankment before Kate could catch him. She called out, hoping someone at the bottom of the drop could stop his momentum, and sure enough, Spider-man swung in quick-as-you-please, catching the Winter Soldier and depositing him safely at the top of the embankment.

“You okay, pal?” asked Deadpool, who Kate had watched nearly throw himself over the side when Bucky had started sliding.

“Yeah, I’m good,” Bucky said, not with the gruff scowl Kate expected but with a smile – an indulgent, affectionate smile. “Thanks, Cousin,” he said to Spidey, clapping him on the back.

“Any time, Cousin,” Spidey said, returning the half-hug.

They all three seemed to simultaneously realize Kate was standing there. She crossed her arms over her chest. They tried to look sheepish.

*~*~*

“I just don’t know if Princess Brite feels that way about Ratchet.”

“What?” Tony’s indignant voice crackled over the com. “They have so much chemistry!”

“I just think once everything comes to a head with T-Rex,” Peter explained as he leapt among iron girders, webbing up the unstable structure to save the dozens of civvies below, “that Princess Brite will choose to stay on Fire Island and rebuild the community that once thrived there.”

“Tony, T-Rex and Fire Island are part of Peter’s original narrative, so we need to respect that,” Bucky chimed in.

“No, no!” Peter said, a twang of guilt in his chest. “I don’t mean that – I just, I’m honored that you let me take over Princess Brite’s story, Tony, and I want to be true to her character.”

“I know, Short Stuff,” Tony said with a sigh. “I guess I shipped PB and Ratchet harder than I thought. If things go differently once T-Rex is neutralized, I won’t be weird about it.”

“But we’re not killing T-Rex,” Peter corrected as he kicked a baddie off of one girder and nabbed him up in webbing. “She’s gonna turn good again.”

“Okay, I do have some questions about that,” Bucky shared, but before he could elaborate, America’s voice broke in.

“You three know you’re on the open com channel, right?” she asked. “Everyone hears you. Everyone.”

Peter was once again, as usual, really glad he wore a costume that hid full-faced blushing.

*~*~*

“Hey, Dudley Do Right.”

“Yeees?”

“Can I ask some advice?”

“Sexy advice?”

“Yes, actually.”

“Ooh, fire away.”

Wade heard Tony take a deep breath over the com. “So, ever since the cabin, Pepper’s been wanting to – experiment. Which is awesome. But, she wants to go to one of those clubs? Like a sex club?”

“Like a BDSM club?” Wade clarified as he clocked a baddie in the head and kicked them into another baddie.

“Yeah, one of those,” Tony replied in his earpiece. “But is that – do you have to, like, get a uniform -- ?”

“You can just go hang out the first time,” Wade reassured as he swung one baddie around by the arms, taking out three other baddies. He had to admit – sometimes not killing was a bit more fun. “Lots of folks just go to watch, and you wear regular clothes and like talk to people. Or you don’t have to, you can just creepily lurk. Want me to help you research places?”

“Please,” Tony said, sounding relieved. “How’s that cartel coming?”

“Almost done,” Wade said brightly as he whapped three more baddies in the face with a lobster trap.

“DP, you should give workshops.”

He let out a mild shriek at the sound of America’s voice in his ear.

“You should seriously give workshops about sex advice and kinky stuff,” she reiterated. “Also, Tony – learn how to use the com system, seriously. Everyone hears you. Again.”

Wade giggled. Tony didn’t speak to anyone for the rest of the day.

*~*~*

“You guys are just all really nice to each other now, and it’s weird.”

Peter, Wade, Tony, Steve, and Bucky all tried not to look at each other. They suddenly realized they were all sitting on the same side of the jet, all on a bench together. It looked bad.

“What are you doing?” Kate asked. “Are you all having sex with each other?”

The chorus of “Nos” that erupted from the bench made Sam and Clint burst into hysterical laughter.

“But you, like, play house?” America asked, ignoring their discomfort. “I just think you should share with the group – you get along really well and you do really solid work together all the sudden. Don’t be greedy.”

Wade looked to his beloved, the heat of whose blush he could practically feel through his mask, to Clint and Sam, who looked kind of excited, to his Dad!Friend, who shrugged at him with handsome helplessness.

“I shall hold a workshop,” Wade announced. “I shall call it Wade Wilson’s Workshop.”

“Kinky workshop,” America corrected with a grin. “I wanna talk about sex stuff.”

*~*~*

At first they thought they’d just hold the workshop at Peter and Wade’s place, but they changed their minds because that many Avengers coming to their apartment at one time seemed a tad risky.

Also, it became evident fairly quickly that their apartment wasn’t going to be big enough to hold the crowd.

Wade had written “Wade Wilson’s (Kinky) Workshop for Hesitant Heroes” in the red and pink chalk that Peter had found for him at the secret teacher store. He was kind of dumbfounded that Avengers HQ, which had tech coming out of every orifice, still had a chalkboard in its biggest conference room. He was also delighted because he found the sound of chalk-on-slate sort of arousing.

“You look great, buddy,” Clint complimented as he helped Wade set up his AV (Peter had helped him make a PowerPoint). “That cardigan is super flattering.”

Wade looked down to admire his new cardigan and pencil skirt ensemble. The princess darts in the shoulder seams really made him feel like a pretty sex-ed teacher, which was what he was going for.

And it was a good thing he was feeling pretty (oh so pretty) because an alarming number of Avengers had shown up for this workshop.

“Everyone,” Cap called in his deep, authoritative voice that sent a pleasant shiver down Wade’s spine. “Take a seat, please, let’s get started.”

Cap gave him an encouraging nod before taking his own seat among the bunch of Avengers crammed hilariously into small conference desks. The funniest was Thor, whose size made his desk look like it belonged to a school play set for little kids.

“Welcome to Wade Wilson’s (Kinky) Workshop, Hesitant Heroes!” Wade greeted, spreading his arms grandly just as he’d rehearsed. “As you all know, I’m here by popular demand because turns out low-key power exchange is really really good for working relationships. So our agenda –“

Before he could continue, Tony’s hand had shot up. “Yes, what are your credentials?”

Wade swallowed the biting retort that came to his lips – teaching moment time.

“See, not long ago, I would have reminded Tony that this workshop is mostly happening because he doesn’t know how to use the com system he designed,” Wade explained in a light voice (America pointed at Tony and laughed), “but since we occasionally engage in a group power-exchange dynamic these days, I have much more empathy for Tony. Also I have zero credentials so all of this is at your own risk. Did everyone sign their waiver?”

Wade looked to Cap, who shrugged. “Well, let’s look at the anonymous questions that some of you submitted,” Wade moved on, referring to the laptop Clint had brought him. “First one is from – Not Scott, and he asks, what are the top three kinkiest things you should do while ant-sized?”

There was a heavy silence as everyone tried really hard not to look at Scott Lang. “What a great question,” Scott said, cheerfully.

Wade cleared his throat. “Let’s see – this one is from BrooklynGuy45, and he asks, how do I get him to stop biting me? I mean I don’t mind it of course but it’s kind of hard to wear sleeveless shirts sometimes.”

Wade covered his mouth with one hand and glanced over to see that Cap had realized his secret online name was just terrible. Bucky was glaring at Steve from the corner with a mixture of outrage and confusion.

“Let’s, ah,” Wade struggled, “does anyone have questions right now? Like in the room?”

Thor raised his hand, then pulled out a piece of paper and read from it. “I am somewhat unsure as to how to approach a certain special person in my life. We have known one another for literal centuries, but more recently he has been dropping suggestive hints of potentially being more than just friends. I'm not really opposed. Most mortals I ask seem very put off for some reason. Anyway, how should I go about this?”

Thor looked up expectantly at Wade, eyes bright, like a gigantic, thunder-wielding puppy.

“You expect us to believe,” Tony began, turning around to look at the demigod, “that you and your brother have not yet ever had sex with each other?”

Half the room erupted, but Wade (with Cap’s help) silenced them. “The Incest Taboo was largely made up by Rich People to make sure they always have babies to feed into their labor machine, so don’t worry about that. Isn’t he a shape-shifter?”

Thor’s smile brightened. “He is, yes.”

“Yeah, you should jump on that. Let’s talk after. Other questions?”

“If one were,” Sam Wilson jumped in, “to hypothetically be interested in possible Kink because they may have some hypothetical friends who are involved, but they themselves are currently apparently Vanilla AF,” he looked pointedly at Bucky, “where is the best place to start, hypothetically speaking?”

“Wait, which kinky thing?” Wade whispered, loudly. “The sexy ones or the one that’s not sexy?”

“He’s gonna take us to the movies!” Clint whispered loudly at Wade about Sam.

“Where is your boyfriend?” Natasha asked Wade, not whispering.

“I thought you two were married,” Kate said threw in.

“Uh,” Wade sweat-dropped, trying desperately to remember who in the room knew Peter’s secret identity and what their Official Relationship Story was supposed to be, “he’s – baking.”

“Ooh, is he using my industrial oven to make baguettes?” Tony asked, leaning forward hopefully.

“Why are so many super heroes into kinky stuff?” Kate asked.

“Ah! What an exciting question,” Wade glommed on to try to save this run-away-covered-wagon of a workshop. “While I don’t know of any studies that have been done, I think it’s because we hero types spend lots of time in life-threatening situations, which makes us less shy in general about doing things that sound scary and fun.”

“Like cunnilingus!” Scott Lang chimed in.

“Sure,” Wade said, generously.

“One time,” America said, “I was performing cunnilingus on a lady, and she was really into it, and so I was really into it, and I thought, ‘holy cow, am I gonna come just from making this lady come?’ And sure enough, she came, and it was great, and then I’m pretty sure I came just from how hot everything was.”

There was a moment of silence. “That’s wonderful,” Wade said in an awed voice. “What was the question?”

America shrugged. “I just wanted everybody to know that happened to me.”

Several people applauded, respectfully. America raised a suggestive eyebrow at Kate, who immediately looked away and turned beet red.

Wade cleared his throat. “Let’s move on to the interactive portion of the workshop – everyone find a partner and we’re going to practice negotiating a new kink.”

“My partner’s gone,” Clint complained, and sure enough, Natasha was nowhere to be found.

“Group of three!” Sam exclaimed, high-fiving Clint as he joined Sam and Bucky, who sent one last glare at Cap (no doubt still angry about the biting question) before turning to his partners.

“You can help me wander among the groups and facilitate,” Wade told his somewhat forlorn Dad!Friend. “Where is your lovely lady, by the way?”

“She and Pepper went to lunch,” Cap sighed. “I told her they were both invited, but…”

After it took both him and Cap to talk Tony down from trying to negotiate suspension with Thor (“He doesn’t trust me!” / “I don’t want to be held over a ravine!”) Wade was tempted to teleport himself to lunch with the ladies.

*~*~*

“That doesn’t look like baking.”

Peter nearly leapt onto the ceiling, throwing worksheets in the air. “Don’t tell Wade I’m grading, okay? He thinks I’m done and I don’t want him to stress.”

“You know I don’t keep things from Wade,” Natasha smirked, perching on the counter of the industrial kitchen where Peter had hidden. “Can’t you take a break for the workshop?”

“I was reaching unhealthy levels of nervousness,” Peter confessed to her. “So I thought the most supportive thing I could do was remove myself. Also, I really do have to get this done.”

“Can’t you just not assign things so you don’t have to grade anything?” she asked, raising an eyebrow at the complicated equations.

Peter sighed. “I could. That’s the saddest part of all.”

She huffed a breath that counted as a laugh. They sat in companionable silence for a while, Natasha watching him mark up the worksheets.

“Your parents died when you were just a little kid, right?”

Peter’s green grading pen paused in mid-air. She had never, ever asked him about that. Not because she didn’t care, but because, well, neither of them were good at talking about things like that. It was part of why they were friends.

“That’s right,” he said, trying to keep things light, because poor Nat actually looked kind of nervous.

“So, when you’re in Little-Kid-Head,” she said, carefully, “what do you draw from?”

Oh. Not what he was expecting. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, since you don’t exactly have a bunch of memories of being a happy little kid.”

There it was. Peter had suspected that she kind of aged down when they all played together, and he thought he’d observed some cute interactions between her and Peggy when they’d had their ill-fated baseball game, and he knew something had gone on at the cabin. He tried to clamp down on the warm fuzzies that bubbled up at the thought of Nat being Little (wow, he really was turning into Wade) and focus on his friend.

“I actually had a really great childhood,” he said, sitting back from the counter. “My aunt and uncle were awesome parents, and from what I can remember, my mom and dad were, too. I was really lucky.”

There was a pregnant pause while neither of them brought up Natasha’s childhood. Peter knew very little about that, but he knew that she’d been decidedly less lucky. It broke his heart to think of.

“What do you remember about your mom and dad?”

Peter searched through his half-memories and impressions of the first few years of his life, trying to find something that wouldn’t be too personal or too sad. “They would change the lyrics of song so that they were about me, and sing them to me.”

One of Natasha’s rare smiles stole slowly across her face. “Which was awkward later when I realized those weren’t the actual words,” he added.

And that made her actually laugh out loud, which made Peter grin.

“It’s just hard sometimes to figure out how it all fits together,” she said, idly kicking the underside of the counter.

He knew she was talking about the ways that being Little fit in with who she was, with the actual life she’d lived. He didn’t know what all experience she’d had with other types of power exchange (plenty, knowing her) but he often wondered similar things about the many and varied ways that he and Wade related to one another.

“I kind of stopped worrying about it,” he shared. He tried to come up with more to say, to expand on that, but the way she kind of affectionately bumped her knee against his suggested that he didn’t have to.

Clint appeared in the doorway of the kitchen. “There you two are! Wade was trying to let people play around with different hitting toys, and now there’s chasing happening, and Cap’s trying to put people in time out, and if you guys could just pop in for a second –“

“Jeez Louise,” Peter muttered before making a beeline for the conference room, hearing Natasha snicker as she followed.

*~*~*

“So it went well?”

“I think so!” Wade chirruped as he gently folded the walnuts and arugula together. It was kind of fun cooking in a kitchen that wasn’t theirs, and these Avengers HQ guest rooms were stocked with some quality dishware. They could have driven home after the workshop, but Sam had been promised that he could spend time with the Littles tomorrow and Tony was really intent on Peter baking baguettes, so they’d opted to stay another day.

“Did you have fun?” Wade asked. “Before you had to come help wrestle a riding crop away from Kate Bishop, that is?”

“I did,” Peter said, pouring wine into two fancy glasses. “I kind of had a workshop of my own, I guess.”

“Aw, that’s wonderful – and how is your grading coming?”

Wade smirked at the look of surprise on Peter’s face – when would he learn that Natasha would always betray him? “I really am done now,” Peter reassured, moving around the island to come to Wade’s side. “I promise. Tell me about what I missed?”

“Well, Cap doesn’t know what an anonymous pseudonym is,” Wade said, squeezing half a lemon over the salad as Peter slid an arm around his waist, “and Thor expects people to believe he and his brother aren’t already boinking—“

“No!” Peter mock-gasped, sliding his hand up Wade’s back.

“It’s true! And Scott Lang, oh --” Wade trailed off as Peter applied gentle force to his upper back, pressing him so that the long line of his torso came to rest on the counter, ass in the air.

“Keep talking, Miss Pretty Sex-Ed Teacher,” Peter instructed, pushing the salad bowl aside and holding him down with one tiny, strong hand.

“Oh, well – Scott Lang thinks that – cunnilingus is – an adventurous sex act,” Wade’s words were cut off by a moan as Peter’s other hand ghosted over his ass, which was tightly wrapped in the material of his pencil skirt.

Peter leaned over his back, lips in his ear. “How attached are you to this skirt, babe?”

Wade gulped as he watched Peter pluck a sharp-looking pair of poultry shears out of the well-appointed knife rack. “I can get another.”

“Good.”

Wade fairly melted into the counter-top as he felt Peter pull the material of his skirt taut and heard the first snips as it was cut away. There were some things, he mused, that could not be taught in a workshop – but it was a good place to start.

**Author's Note:**

> THANK YOU to Parrannah for the Kinky Workshop idea!!!
> 
> THANK YOU to everyone who contributed kinky questions via tumblr!!!
> 
> Next up: bathing/shaving kink for Cody_Thomas, then a whole bunch of really exciting kink requests and also some really fun age play requests!
> 
> Come find me on tumblr and tell me things and ask me things! 
> 
> crockzilla.tumblr.com


End file.
